Focusing and Sex
Sex is an issue that is hardly ever discussed in the Focusing community. My Focusing clients don't speak about it very often, either, although they would have the freedom to do so.
Considering the importance that Freud gave the human sex drive, this might seem surprising. According to Freud, this drive is one of the main sources of human behavior. Psychoanalysts would probably say that it is the superego that prevents Focusing people from bringing up sexual issues and there is certainly some truth in that.
However, we also work with the phenomenon that Freud called “superego”. In the Focusing community this is usually called “the inner critic”. (Personally, I don’t use this term, because sometimes the “inner critic”doesn’t criticize, but gives seemingly “good” advice. In other words, he or she criticizes indirectly by demanding change.) This often happens in order to push away a wish, an emotion, a thought, a body sensation, or an image. And these do not have a sexual content most of the time.
So how come that when people do Focusing, hardly any sexual issues come up? I have the following explanation: Focusing happens on a deeper level than sexual desires. It happens on the level of the energy from which sexual desires arise. This energy is our life energy. It is the energy that all human behavior comes from – also sexual behavior. But on this deep level it doesn’t feel sexual. It feels liberating, flowing, alive etc.
Often this energy is blocked. With Focusing we can turn toward the energy itself and toward the blockage and listen to both. I have experienced countless times – in my clients and also in myself – that by doing so the blockage shifts and the energy starts flowing again and that feels really good! Part of it certainly flows into sexual activities, however, this energy is not sexual by nature. It is our life energy that carries our life forward in other areas as well. This energy can be trusted…